


What If

by biblionerd07



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 03:16:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biblionerd07/pseuds/biblionerd07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little fireside heart-to-heart about what they'd be doing if the Blackout had never happened spurs Bass and Rachel to talk about Miles and the relationship he has with both of them.  Set during their trip to Mexico to find Connor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What If

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I am not trying to clog up the whole archive with my writing but when the muse strikes, you gotta write! Plus Charloe fics are dominating right now and there's nothing wrong with that but I just needed to get some Miloe(ish) in the house.

When Miles finally drifted into a feverish, fretful sleep, Rachel and Bass found themselves sitting by the fire together. Bass felt guilty when he looked at Miles and saw the pallor of his face and the sweat on his brow and he knew Miles shouldn’t be traveling, still sick with the infection in his arm, but he pushed it away. This fun little roadtrip had been Miles’s idea, not his. Bass would’ve just as soon gone to find his son alone. It was horrible with Rachel there, but it might’ve been even worse if it were just the two of them.

He and Rachel were sitting together, but they were steadfastly ignoring one another. Rachel was staring into the fire and Bass was cleaning his fingernails with his knife. It probably wasn’t civilized, but what did being civilized matter when there was no civilization anymore?

“What do you think we’d be doing if the Blackout had never happened?” The question slipped out of Rachel’s mouth almost dreamily, like she hadn’t realized she’d said it aloud, but then she looked at him and he was struck, again, at how she never did anything by accident.

“You’d be getting ready for Danny to graduate from high school.” He said after a beat, expecting her to berate him for daring to hold Danny’s name in his mouth, but she didn’t, so he went on. “Maybe send him to the same college as Charlie.”

“And Charlie wouldn’t hate me.” She murmured. Bass didn’t comment on that. He had a feeling that relationship would be rocky no matter the circumstances.

“You and Ben would have about a thousand Nobel Prizes each by now.” Bass said with a little chuckle, thinking of how Ben had always talked about Nobel Prizes. But thinking of Ben meant he couldn’t chuckle long, because Ben was dead and that was, technically, his fault. He should’ve just killed Neville for that and saved a lot of people a lot of trouble.

“What about you?” Rachel asked. Bass was quiet for so long Rachel thought he was going to ignore the question. His eyes were flitting around, not looking at her, and she thought of how he could get lost in his own head as bad as Miles.

“I’d be dead.” He finally said. She looked at him in surprise. “I would’ve stayed in the Corps.” He explained. “They wanted you civilians to think things were getting better over there, and maybe they were, in some ways, but I never would’ve made it this long.” He shook his head. “Well, you’d get your wish, I guess.”

“Without the Blackout I’d have no reason to hate you.” Rachel pointed out. Bass snorted and shook his head.

“You’ve always hated me.” He didn’t sound bitter. “I always knew you didn’t like me, but when you didn’t want me to come for Christmas that last year before the Blackout, I realized just how much.”

“Did Miles tell you I didn’t want you there?” Rachel asked mildly. Bass laughed out loud.

“Of course not. Miles used to pretend everyone loved me, no matter how they really felt.” He was contemplative for a minute. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out. He said we were going, then we weren’t going, then we went, and you were ice cold. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist.”

“I couldn’t figure out why Miles was so insistent you come.”

Bass’s face closed off to her and he focused again on his fingernails. “It was the first Christmas we’d be home after…after the accident. Christmas doesn’t really matter when you’re at war. But at home, well.” He paused. “Miles knew he was all I had.”

Rachel was quiet, lost in her thoughts, remembering the Bass from back then, when he’d done nothing to her but dance with her at her wedding and send her children birthday presents with a card that lied and said Miles had helped pick them out.

“Yes, being apart from your family at Christmas is painful.” Rachel said drily. He stared her down for a long minute.

“I never asked you to come to Philadelphia, Rachel.” He reminded her. She bit back her words, about how she hadn’t had a choice, not really, but when part of her not having a choice was so wrapped up in her confusion over Miles, she was unwilling to open that can of worms.

“I was going to restart the affair that Christmas.” Rachel finally told him evenly. “That’s why I didn’t want you there.”

Bass searched her face shrewdly, then shook his head. “Well, good thing I was there, then.”

Rachel huffed out a breath. “Because you care so much about Ben.”

“Contrary to your belief, yes, I’ve always cared about Ben. I know you’ll never believe this, but we weren’t going to hurt Ben when we kept asking him to come to us. But I wasn’t talking about Ben. It’s a good thing I was there for Miles’s sake.”

She gave him a questioning look. His eyes glanced to Miles, curled on the ground under two blankets, shivering and clammy, and he seemed to be thinking, weighing whether he should say what he had in mind.

“That would’ve destroyed him.” He said simply. “And he would’ve done it, even knowing it would destroy him. He never could say no to you. Why do you think he got off so much on keeping you captive? He finally had some control over you.”

“He didn’t _get off_ on keeping me captive.” Rachel bristled. “That was _you_.”

Bass laughed darkly. “Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep next to him at night? Please, Rachel. I think I have a little more insight into what was getting him off at that time than you.” He said with a little leer and she shuddered.

“I’ll never understand why you two thought the Blackout meant you had to do… _that_.” She’d never had a problem with homosexual relationships, but the thought of Miles’s calloused hands on Bass’s scarred body made her feel sick with jealousy and, if she was honest, some arousal that made her feel deep shame.

“Don’t pretend you’re that naïve, Rachel.” Bass sneered. “You don’t honestly think Miles and I weren’t sleeping together before the Blackout?”

Rachel swallowed hard. She’d suspected—they’d all suspected—but over the years, as she’d watched Bass morph and twist into someone else and she wiped out the memory of the happy, caring man from her mind, she’d told herself it had been the Blackout, only the Blackout and the fear of the new world would make Miles take on a such a savage bedfellow.

“And you know it wasn’t just sex.” Bass continued silkily, knowing she didn’t want to hear it. Bass could read people exceptionally well, and especially her, no matter how hard she tried to hide herself. “Oh, no. We could’ve gotten plenty of sex from plenty of different women. We _loved_ each other, Rachel. I know you think you’re the first to thaw Miles’s heart.” He barked out a laugh and his lips curled into an ugly smile she recognized all too well. “He’s told you you’re the one, that it’s always been you, am I right? Probably in the middle of some impossible situation, probably when he was almost dead.”

Rachel’s mouth was dry. No, Bass wasn’t being honest with her; he was just trying to get to her. Miles must have told him what he’d said that day in the school, with the door about to give way to the soldiers and Miles about to give way to the infection. Miles couldn’t have said those words to anyone but her.

But Bass’s jaw was clenched and he wasn’t looking at her. She could read Bass as well as he could read her, and when he lied he looked straight into your eyes and didn’t blink. And Miles would never have told anyone that he’d said that; he'd said it in the heat of the moment, the only time he could be remotely romantic. Bass wasn’t lying. Rachel felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“And it wasn’t just some line, you know; he meant it. For both of us. So enjoy him while you have him, before he changes his mind.”

“Then why are you still here?” Rachel asked. Her heart was pounding. She couldn’t pretend she hadn’t thought all this herself, that Miles would change his mind, would get bored, would leave.

“Because he needs me.” Bass said softly, staring into the flames. “It kills me to be here, seeing him every day when everything’s different, but he does still need me. And I deserve to die anyway. May as well die for him.”

A log in the fire fell with a pop of sparks and Bass started, almost jumped, coming back to himself and looking at Rachel, realized he’d been talking too much, revealing too much. He licked his lips and stood up.

“I’d better get some more wood.” He said.

“It’s not so cold.” Rachel responded, not sure why she didn’t like the idea of Bass roaming around alone in the woods. He could more than handle himself and she didn’t entirely care if something happened to him. Bass looked at her like she was incompetent and it sent fire into her stomach. She hated that look.

“Miles is freezing.” He said. “He’s still sick. He needs the fire.”

He walked away without another word and Rachel felt nauseated. Even now, Bass knew Miles better than she did. Even now, Bass _loved_ Miles better than she did. She loved Miles, but she couldn’t honestly say she would stick around if everything between them went to hell, not even if he asked. Maybe especially if he asked. She would kill for him, but she wouldn’t die for him. She would never die for anyone but herself. And if the situation arose where the choice was Bass’s life or Miles’s, even if it was a mere possibility to save Miles, Rachel had no doubt Bass would walk willingly and unarmed into a fire.

Rachel went to lie beside Miles. She didn’t look over when she heard Bass come back, didn’t move when she felt Bass’s eyes looking around her to see Miles, didn’t speak when Bass moved a few feet away to keep watch. She felt threatened and exposed—Bass knew he loved Miles more than she did. Hell, Miles probably knew Bass loved him more than she did. And if Miles would leave Bass, who loved him so much, he would undoubtedly leave her in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't want this to come off as Rachel hate. I don't particularly love Rachel, but I think she's a complex character and I like that she's really not apologetic about her actions. But Riles is my notp so...this happened.


End file.
